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How to Tell if You are in an Abusive Relationship

Sometimes an abusive relationship can sneak up on you. At first, your new boyfriend is very attentive and charming. He wants to be with you all the time, and seems to be the answer to your dreams. He loves everything about you. And, you want to be with him too.

Then one day he tells you that your skirt is too short. He doesn’t like other guys looking at you. Or, he snaps angrily at you when you are talking. He apologizes immediately, but the comment really hurts your feelings.  Suddenly, he doesn’t want to be with anybody else, just you. Every night.

An abusive relationship doesn’t even mean that someone is hitting or hurting you physically. Actually, it is usually about control. Controlling your appearance, your time, everything in your life.

Here are some danger signs:

  1. Your partner seems jealous or possessive of you and your time.
  2. They like to control you- telling you what to do or what to say, how to dress.
  3. They keep you from seeing your friends or family.
  4. They demand to see your text or e-mail messages and to control your social media.
  5. You feel like you always have to be very careful or they will get mad.
  6. They put you down. You feel like nothing you do is ever right.
  7. They threaten to commit suicide or hurt themselves because of you.
  8. They hurt or threaten you, or become violent when you argue.

If you feel like you are in this type of relationship you need to get out! Talk to someone you trust: a parent, friend, relative or even a school counselor or teacher. This may not be easy for you, but the earlier you do it the better. Abusers rarely change, and you will get hurt.

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